Friday, November 11, 2011

11/10/11: Music

"Nov. 10: Thankful for Music"


If I were to expound upon the many reasons I am thankful for music, I would be writing for hours.  Music is a vital part of lives but often is not even noticed.  Try watching a movie without a musical score and you would realize how much music goes unnoticed.  Now, imagine life without music.  I truly believe there would be an increase in every unpleasant human event--crime, violence, suicide, neglect, you name it!


Yes, I am thankful for music in general, but I also am thankful for music personally.  I am thankful that my Mom was more stubborn than I and, with the use of many threats and spankings, made me practice the piano.  I am thankful that my junior high choir teacher, Mrs. Cathy Tanner, realized that I was an accompanist and not a concert pianist.  I prefer to be in the background, either playing with an ensemble or accompanying singers.  Maybe that's why my first paragraph turned out the way I hadn't planned, thankful for background music.  I am thankful that the piano teacher I had in junior high, Mrs. Jane Blackerby, realized that I see music and, being a math teacher, taught me by emphasizing my innate ability to see the math in the music which helps me sight read better than I could have otherwise.  I don't play much anymore, but when asked I like being able to say yes.  I also like singing, but like piano I prefer to sing in a group, never solos.  I get so anxious that my voice comes out so much worse than it actually is, which is bad because it ain't that great in the first place!  However, I'm an alto who can read music, so there's some value in that.


In actuality, when I wrote I was thankful for music, I wasn't thinking at all about all of the stuff I mentioned in the previous two paragraphs.  I was thinking of something very specific that happened on the morning of Nov. 10.  Geyer Springs hosted a workshop for the PRISM Music Publishing Company and requested that some of the choir members attend so the music ministers who would be there could hear how the choral music sounded, especially since the majority of the attendees would be men.  Given that I now have some flexibility in my work schedule, I was able to attend.  I was greeted by Jon Skelly, my current Minister of Music.  I sat by Paul Buck, my previous Minister of Music. Afterwards I spoke with Mark Davis, one of my other previous Ministers of Music.  That was pretty cool.


The lyrics of one of the songs we sang is the specific reason I wrote that I was thankful for music.  I wish I could remember the song title and who wrote it, but I didn't snap a photo of the title page. I did, however, snap a photo of the chorus because the words spoke so powerfully to me:
"God, You are God even when I don't feel You.
 God, You are God even when I don't see You.
 I will worship, I will worship.
 God, You are God when I feel like I'm falling.
 God, You are God, beyond my understanding.
 I will worship, I will worship."


Wow! Talk about speaking to me right where I need it most!  If you have read any of my previous posts, particularly my "Post with No Name," you understand why these words meant so much to me.  I am a thinker.  I look for evidence.  I believe what I see, not what I hear.  So many times, people say one thing but their actions say quite another.  I look for proof.  I have a believing heart but I try my faith.  Every time I try it, God proves it, but I still keep trying it.  I don't think there is anything wrong with that.  I don't think it shows that I am weak.  Then again, I always thought Thomas got a bad rap.  


Thomas was a thinker, too, a skeptic who demanded proof.  He wasn't going to believe that Jesus had risen simply because someone said so.  He tried his faith.  Jesus understood that.   He understood Thomas' nature even more than Thomas did.  Jesus offered Thomas the proof.  Jesus passed the test and Thomas' faith was strengthened.  The term "Doubting Thomas" has taken on such a negative connotation that I think is quite unfair.  Even the scripture used to attack Thomas as weak is, I think, misinterpreted by so many people, people for whom believing and having faith is easier than it was for people like Thomas, and like me.


24 Now Thomas (also known as Didymus[a]), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”
   But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”
 26 A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 27Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
 28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
 29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
John 20: 24-29

I want to pay particular attention to verse 29: "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."  I do not think Jesus was telling Thomas, "Shame on you.  You should have been like these others who did not question.  They are so much better followers of me because they believed.  You, however, required proof, so you are a lesser and weaker follower of Me."  That is the way it has been interpreted by many who follow up with, "Just believe."  For someone like me, however, that interpretation does nothing more than add to feelings of shame and guilt for being, what?, for being ME, for being the person God made me to be?  Why would Jesus shame that?

I have another interpretation of that verse.  I think Jesus was not referring to the other disciples in the room when He said "those."  I believe Jesus was referring to those of us who, like Thomas, are critical thinkers who look for evidence to support our faith and who don't "just believe."  I think
Jesus freely offered the proof that Thomas needed because Jesus knew Thomas, knew the person he was, knew that others throughout time would be much like him, and Jesus offered proof to Thomas specifically, stating that others like Thomas were blessed by believing the proof He offered Thomas.  People like me are the "those."

That's what those lyrics told me.  God was affirming to me in the way that He knows I need that He is still God even when I don't feel Him, when I can't see Him, and even when my mind can't comprehend or understand.  He is God when no evidence or proof is readily available to prove the trying of my faith. He is God and loves me when my thinking mind makes me doubt, and there is nothing wrong with my skepticism, just like there was nothing wrong with Thomas'.  He loves the skeptics because He made us that way, and He is not limited by my skepticism.  Rather, He offers the proof I need when I look for it because that is what helps me talk with others just like me, people who don't "just believe," and I am able to talk to them from a perspective they understand.  God is God for everyone, for every temperament, not just for those for whom faith is as natural as my skepticism.  He is God no matter what, and I will worship Him.

THAT'S why I was thankful for music.

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