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The Songahm Taekwondo World Championships were in Little Rock this past week. We inaugurated a new Grand Master, GM In Ho Lee, and witnessed our former Grand Master become Grand Master Emeritus Soon Ho Lee. What a show it was! The pageantry and tradition was a site to behold. Given that this was a momentous event, record numbers were in attendance. In the Pro Shop, I saw the t-shirts from a school somewhere in the U.S. It was black with neon green writing, and on the back was the scripture, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17). Just how does one person sharpen another? This got me to thinking (a very dangerous past time, indeed).
My first thought was remembering watching my dad and, later, my husband sharpen a knife with a wet stone. I found a website on how to sharpen an iron chisel with a wet stone and was struck by the metaphor. Basically, it takes five steps. First, you must fix the stone securely so it won't slip while sharpening. As you can imagine, bad things happen if your stone is not sure. Second, the stone needs to be lubricated (hence the word "wet") with oil or water. A wet stone is rather dry without water. Third, place the chisel to be sharpened into the honing guide, tightened so it will stay but loose enough to be adjusted. Fourth, slide the chisel back and forth over the stone, keeping the chisel in constant contact with the stone. Fifth, clean off the burr by turning it over and starting again. Repeat all five steps as necessary to achieve the desired edge.
Basically, what sharpens iron is friction. The stone is wet to keep it from over heating, but friction is what does the trick. Oh how I've had people in my life who have sharpened me, and they can testify to the friction it takes, especially when this iron chisel is dull and stubborn! I thought about those people who have sharpened me and the role they have played in the process.
I have solid friends, people whose character is steadfast, whose devotion is unwavering. I also have come into contact with people who are "stone cold" and with whom I am not friends. In both cases, in relating to another, our boundaries as individuals must make contact. When we are heading in the same direction, we glide like glass. However, when our boundaries are not exactly parallel, we get an angel or an edge to them, and friction begins. We can try and soothe things with understanding, encouragement, communication, empathy, and all that good stuff that a shrink like me is bound to say, but it doesn't matter how sweet the salve, friction remains. I have some friends who hold up to me a firm reality check, even if I do not agree with the reality they are presenting. I have been chipped by some people, badly but never broken, and I have had others who come along and patiently begin to smooth away the chips and the burrs. Slowly and painstakingly, they have remained by my side until my edge returns and I am useful once more.
These are the friends I cherish, the ones who disagree, sometimes vehemently, but they are steadfast. Even when others have misused me and taken whacks that have left me in bad shape, these friends come along side, challenging and confronting me, making me take critical looks at myself to see the damage that has been done. They hold me loosely, allowing me to adjust. They guide me while I get a healthier perspective, a corrective angle. Then they gently but firmly edify me, not with feel good strokes but with with words and actions that bring about real healing. Some even bring about a real polish and shine, staying with me long enough for me to be better than I was before.
My first thought was remembering watching my dad and, later, my husband sharpen a knife with a wet stone. I found a website on how to sharpen an iron chisel with a wet stone and was struck by the metaphor. Basically, it takes five steps. First, you must fix the stone securely so it won't slip while sharpening. As you can imagine, bad things happen if your stone is not sure. Second, the stone needs to be lubricated (hence the word "wet") with oil or water. A wet stone is rather dry without water. Third, place the chisel to be sharpened into the honing guide, tightened so it will stay but loose enough to be adjusted. Fourth, slide the chisel back and forth over the stone, keeping the chisel in constant contact with the stone. Fifth, clean off the burr by turning it over and starting again. Repeat all five steps as necessary to achieve the desired edge.
Basically, what sharpens iron is friction. The stone is wet to keep it from over heating, but friction is what does the trick. Oh how I've had people in my life who have sharpened me, and they can testify to the friction it takes, especially when this iron chisel is dull and stubborn! I thought about those people who have sharpened me and the role they have played in the process.
I have solid friends, people whose character is steadfast, whose devotion is unwavering. I also have come into contact with people who are "stone cold" and with whom I am not friends. In both cases, in relating to another, our boundaries as individuals must make contact. When we are heading in the same direction, we glide like glass. However, when our boundaries are not exactly parallel, we get an angel or an edge to them, and friction begins. We can try and soothe things with understanding, encouragement, communication, empathy, and all that good stuff that a shrink like me is bound to say, but it doesn't matter how sweet the salve, friction remains. I have some friends who hold up to me a firm reality check, even if I do not agree with the reality they are presenting. I have been chipped by some people, badly but never broken, and I have had others who come along and patiently begin to smooth away the chips and the burrs. Slowly and painstakingly, they have remained by my side until my edge returns and I am useful once more.
These are the friends I cherish, the ones who disagree, sometimes vehemently, but they are steadfast. Even when others have misused me and taken whacks that have left me in bad shape, these friends come along side, challenging and confronting me, making me take critical looks at myself to see the damage that has been done. They hold me loosely, allowing me to adjust. They guide me while I get a healthier perspective, a corrective angle. Then they gently but firmly edify me, not with feel good strokes but with with words and actions that bring about real healing. Some even bring about a real polish and shine, staying with me long enough for me to be better than I was before.
