Forgiveness Part 4 - Repentance and Enactment

It seems like forever since I have been able to write on my blog again, and when I did, *POOF* the post went away.  So, this is Part 4, Take 2...  


I have loved reading the comments on previous posts.  Of course, I appreciate the praises, but I also appreciate just as much the challenges.  Honestly, I find comfort in the challenges because it's nice to know other people have some of the same types of questions and hang-ups as I do.  I plan to address all of the comments, at least my take on them, but I anticipate that my response will be interwoven through several posts and subjects.  If not, let me know and I will make it a matter of more focused attention.


{Good, the server is saving this post.  Hopefully, it will not escape into oblivion like the other one!}


First, I am going to summarize briefly my previous posts on forgiveness.  It has been my experience that forgiveness is a much understood topic.  My intention in writing this series is to help myself and others understand what forgiveness is and what it is not, and how to enact forgiveness in our lives.  I am basing my position on the example that is given to us by God and Christ.  God is ready to forgive because He was not caught by surprise.  He knew what would happen and had a plan of forgiveness already worked out, which is why He is ready to forgive when asked.  God also confronts us when we need it, causing us to examine what we have done.  Now, for the hard part...


In my experience, the major sticking point in forgiveness is the debate regarding whether a person needs to ask for forgiveness before they can be forgiven.  In one camp, people argue that forgiveness is a heart issue, and if you wait on the other person to ask for forgiveness, you are holding a grudge.  Therefore, no, you can (some would say must) forgive someone without their having to ask.  Obviously, my tent ain't in that camp.


Let's take another look at Luke 17:3, "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent forgive them."  I think this is rather clear--forgiveness is dependent upon repentance.  Forgiveness without repentance is condoning.  So, is Jesus telling us it is okay to hold a grudge?  Not hardly.  In verse 4, Jesus says, "Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”  OUCH!!!  Oh, I would have such a hard time with that!  Who am I with the "would",  I DO have a hard time with that.  It seems the disciples did too because their response was, "Increase our faith!" (Luke 17: 5b).  So, it's either hold a grudge or be a doormat?  Not at all.


Jesus was referring to having a spirit of forgiveness, but this, I believe, is where the misunderstanding truly lies, in understanding what forgiveness really means.  When something is forgiven, it is over and done.  No more claim is laid against what has been forgiven.  No more resentment is held or expressed.  All debts are cancelled and payment no longer is required.  This is the heart of salvation, God's forgiveness extended through the sacrifice of Christ.  Once accepted, our debt of sin is cancelled, having already been paid at Calvary.  No more separation.  No more debt.  When God forgives, He forgives completely.  He has taken it upon Himself to keep this promise, "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more" (Hebrews 8:12).  How does an omniscient being forget?  He doesn't.  He knows our sins but takes complete responsibility for the forgiveness of that debt and never again lays it to our charge.  That is the enactment of forgiveness from a God who is ready to forgive.


We, on he other hand, have to work through the hurt, anger, pain, and sadness (among other thoughts and emotions too numerous to list) before we can enact forgiveness.  If we take forgiveness too flippantly, we will say we forgive too quickly, without working through all of that STUFF and we really will not have forgiven.  We merely will have postponed the confrontation or will continue to avoid it.  Either way, fellowship is disrupted.  That is what forgiveness is, a restoration of fellowship.  This is why repentance is required.  


What if the person never asks for forgiveness or, worse yet, doesn't think they have a reason to ask for forgiveness.  (Please recall that this is not about little slights or small misunderstandings.)  Is holding a grudge the only recourse we have?  No.  We, too, can become ready to forgive.  We can do the hard work of facing our hurt, pain, and anger, knowing that when and if the person comes to us and asks, we are more than willing to enact forgiveness and move forward.  We hold a grudge only when we nurture and nourish reasons to feel all of those negative feelings.  We hold a grudge when we dwell on what the person did to us.  As long as we are dwelling on this, we are not ready to forgive even if we are asked.  We're simply stewing in a pot of pseudo righteous indignation flavored with a few of our own jacked up juices!


It usually is at this point in the conversation that someone from the other camp mentions that Jesus from the cross said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34a).  They use this as the basis for their argument that repentance is not necessary for forgiveness.  I disagree in their interpretation of this passage.  I think that Jesus was referring to specific people doing a specific act at a specific point in time.  The remainder of that verse reads, "And they divided up his clothes by casting lots" (Luke 23:34b).  The "them" is Jesus' statement was the "they" in the next statement.  I think that Jesus was reminding His Father to forgive the soldiers who were literally, not symbolically, nailing Him to the cross because that was necessary for the plan and price of forgiveness to be complete.  He was reminding His Father that He was dying for them as well, asking God to forgive them if they repent, and not holding them to a different requirement because of what they were doing to Him at that time.  This is the ultimate example of having a forgiving spirit, of being ready to forgive.  (For a more detailed account of my perspective on this, please refer to the post "Was God a Bad Dad?")


So what happens if we are ready to forgive yet the other person does not ask?  We do our part.  We work to be ready to forgive.  We don't dwell on the wrong or the hurt.  We can be cordial and courteous, even continuing to confront them, but we cannot condone for the sake of a false peace.  We may have the overwhelming desire to forgive and restore the relationship, but the relationship or fellowship will not be as it was unless both are willing to work toward truth and understanding.  It truly is a heart issue.


And what happens if they ask but we are not ready to forgive?  We tell them the truth.  We tell them that we appreciate their apology but we have to work through some "stuff" (a good psychological word, by the way) before we can truly forgive.  Then when we are ready, we go to them and enact forgiveness.


And what happens when we enact forgiveness?  We take upon ourselves the responsibility for our own memories and emotions as they arise and no longer lay it at their feet.  It may take a while to trust them again, if ever we trust them like we did before.  As the person proves they are trustworthy, our trust in them will grow.  If the person continues to wrong us in the same way, we can forgive, but we will be more careful with whom we place our trust.  We do have to be good stewards, especially with ourselves and our relationships.  We may no longer harbor resentment, but this does not mean that we have to allow ourselves to be hurt over and over.  We are to be "wise as serpents and harmless as doves" (Matthew 10:16b, KJV).


Genuine forgiveness is much more than a "that's ok" or a "don't worry about it."  It is a representation of the forgiveness we receive from God, and it is required in authentic relationships.  Having a forgiving spirit is not being a doormat to be walked on at will; rather, it is being the person that others know when you say they are forgiven, they truly are.

Forgiveness Part 4 - Repentance and Enactment (Grrrr)

I just spent an hour and a half writing, hitting the "Save Now" button periodically, but getting an error in saving message.  I kept writing, thinking I would publish it and go back and edit.  It didn't publish.  So, all of the work went into oblivion.  I'll try and recreate it later.  Right now, I'm not ready to forgive the blogspot server.

Forgiveness Part 3 - The Confrontation

When many think of confrontation, they think of something bad or destructive between people.  After all, the first definition of the word "confront" is "to face in hostility or defiance" (dictionary.com).  Often, this is the point at which people stop the work of forgiveness.  


However, confrontation does not have to be destructive.  In fact, the constructive nature of confrontation is what Jesus was referring to when he said, "If your brother sins against you, rebuke him."  Jesus knew that for fellowship to be restored, forgiveness is necessary, and confrontation is an essential part of the process.  When confrontation is seen as "a meeting of persons face to face" (dictionary.com), the restorative nature of confrontation begins to emerge.


God did not avoid confrontation.  God in His omniscience knew that humanity would betray Him by choosing to leave innocence by pursuing evil.  When that happened, God was ready to forgive, but to do that, He first had to confront.  "Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.  But the Lord God called to the man, 'Where are you?'" (Genesis 3: 8-9).  To me, this is the most tragic and wonderful verse in the Bible.  It is tragic that God had to ask, and it is wonderful that He did.  With just a simple question of "Where are you?", God confronted Adam.  He sought a face to face meeting with the one who betrayed Him to enact His plan of forgiveness.  "The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them" (Genesis 3:21).  Not only did God forgive them, He presented His plan of redemption for all of humanity by shedding innocent blood to cover man's transgressions.


Jesus was the plan.  In Ephesians, Paul wrote that Jesus was God's work to be ready to forgive. Before the foundation of the world, Jesus was chosen to be the work of forgiveness.  Jesus said to Zaccheus, "For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost" (Luke 19:10).  He was seeking just as His Father did when He asked, "Where are you?"  Jesus came to find us.  Jesus came to save us.  Jesus came to make a way for God to forgive us by paying our debt for us.  


Confrontation does involve risk.  If you confront another, you do risk being faced with hostility.  Jesus was met with great hostility, as was Paul, Peter, and the rest of the Apostles. Having the courage to confront does not insure a restoration of the fellowship with another person.  Much of that is dependent upon how the other person receives the confrontation, regardless of how appropriately the confrontation is made.  Consider these two vastly different outcomes.


Peter's Message
On the Day of Pentecost when the church was empowered by the Holy Spirit to carry out the Great Commission that Jesus had given them before His ascension, Peter addressed the crowd.  He confronted them for what they had done to Jesus.  "'Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.'  When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, 'Brothers, what shall we do?  Peter replied, 'Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins'" (Acts 2: 36-38a).  Peter confronted; the Holy Spirit convicted; the people repented; God forgave them; and the relationship and fellowship within the first church was added to and multiplied.


Stephen's Message
Stephen was "a man full of God's grace and power" who also confronted people of their sin.  However, unlike Peter's experience, the response from the people he confronted was not restorative.  Stephen was seized and taken to the Sanhedrin where he stood trial for blasphemy.  False witnesses arose against Stephen.  He responded by making the case for Christ.  "When they heard this, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed at him with their teeth" (Acts 7:54, NKJV).  Stephen confronted; the Holy Spirit convicted; the people did not repent; God could not enact forgiveness; the people stoned Stephen; and Jesus stood for him.


Confrontation is risky.  The same experience of conviction, of being cut to the heart, produced two radically different results.  Resolution of the conflict and restoration of the relationship are not guaranteed.  However, God does not expect us to control what another person does or how they respond; rather, God does expect us to be ready to forgive, to take the risk of seeking a face to face meeting, and to allow His Holy Spirit to do His work.

Forgiveness Part 2 - Ready to Forgive

Many people hold themselves to an unrealistic expectation--they expect themselves to be like God. I am not talking about being Christ-like, living life in such a way that points others to the grace and mercy of God provided by the self-sacrifice of Jesus and His resurrection defeating death and hell.  I am talking about people expecting themselves to have qualities of God that we humans do not have--omniscience, omnipotence, and omnipresence.  It seems that the expectation of omniscience is what really impairs people in their understanding and application of forgiveness. 


Many people expect themselves and others to enact forgiveness immediately after an offense.  They remind themselves and others, or are reminded by others, that God forgives and so should they.  Matthew 6: 14-15 is used almost as a threat of mortal peril.  "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." The pressure is on!  If I don't forgive right now, God won't forgive me!  If you don't forgive me right now, God won't forgive you.  OUCH!  Now that's pressure! 


However, people forget one thing.  We are not God.  Perhaps that's why Jesus followed up His admonition to forgive with His warning not to judge others.  If we hold others to an impossible standard, we will be held to that standard as well.  The standard of which I am speaking is the one characteristic of God mentioned previously that we do not have, omniscience.


"For You, Lord, are good and ready to forgive, abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You" (Psalm 86:5).  Ready to forgive...I think this phrase is of utmost importance in understanding forgiveness and the first step in being a person with a truly forgiving spirit.  Keeping in mind that God is ready to forgive, consider Ephesians 1: 3-4a, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight."  Before the creation of the world...this is the second phrase of utmost importance.  Regardless of how one views the creation of the world, the main point is that God knew what was going to happen before it ever did.  He knew what would happen when He created humanity.  He knew that humans would not remain innocent, that we would understand good and evil by choosing evil, and He already had a plan to redeem us because we would not be deemed worthy of being in a relationship with Him.  He knew before we sinned, and that is the key difference and why the standard of immediate forgiveness is unrealistic.


Ready to forgive...Before the creation of the world...


We humans are not omniscient.  We do not know what will happen before it happens.  We do not have the ability to know and plan ahead of time.  We need time to be ready to forgive.  If we do not take that time, we do not offer forgiveness; we make a statement that we cannot mean because we we were not ready to enact forgiveness.  Obviously, I am not referring to small slights; rather, I am referring to what Jesus meant when He said, "If your brother sins against you, rebuke him" (Luke 17: 3a, NKJV).


When Jesus said "sins against you," what exactly did He mean.  I don't know exactly what He meant, but I have a clue found in Proverbs 6: 16-19: "There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him:

• haughty eyes,
• a lying tongue,
• hands that shed innocent blood,
• a heart that devises wicked schemes,
• feet that are quick to rush into evil,
• a false witness who pours out lies,
• and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers."

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone who was insultingly arrogant? 

Have you ever been lied about?

Have you ever been abused or had a loved one harmed or killed by another?

Have you ever been betrayed or exploited?

Have you ever been the victim of someone who deliberately chooses to wrong you?

Have you ever been in court, whether a court of law or a metaphorical court of peers, and someone who knew the truth lied about you?

Have you ever been in a situation in which someone stirs up trouble in your family, church, work, or group of friends?

If so, then your work to be ready to forgive begins.

Forgiveness Part 1 - Introduction

In my profession, the topic of forgiveness often arises.  How to forgive...Whether to forgive...Can I forgive...Is forgiveness deserved...All of these questions and more arise.  Misunderstanding and guilt also arise when this topic is mentioned, mostly from Christians burdened by a weight of "shoulds" and other imperatives placed upon them by themselves and others, most of whom are well-intentioned.  Well-intentioned or not, much emotional damage still is done when recitations of untried platitudes abound.


I have seen people wracked with guilt because they thought they should forgive soon after discovering or being told about a trusted and/or loved one's betrayal, for example.  Trying to forgive before they can sort out the reality of their life and all of the contradictory emotions of grief often leads to denial of their right to feel, denying themselves the right to their own experience.  Fearing that they, in fact, are sinning because they feel angry, hurt, confused, and saddened, they turn these feelings inward, often becoming depressed with only a hollow forgiveness as a shelter, and this only when the offending other actually acknowledges their wrong, demonstrates remorse, and asks for forgiveness.  


I also have seen people struggling with trying to forgive someone who has not asked for forgiveness, sometimes cannot ask because their life already has passed from them.  They hear from well-meaning people and often pulpits that forgiveness is their responsibility, and this is true but not entirely.  Not wanting to hold a grudge, people offer a blanket forgiveness, which really amounts to condoning the wrong that was done and leaves the person nursing a resentment that they do not want or living in a denial that they do not need.


So, what is a person to do?  I grappled with with this question for years.  I have studied, read, contemplated, and prayed.  Even though I do not propose to have the answer, I have reached a position that makes sense, at least to me.  Now, I will try to put my thoughts on the proverbial page and let others try it.  I beseech others to critique it, try my logic, and point out any inconsistencies because it is through this that we learn and better understand.  It is not enough for me to simply receive what I have been told; rather, I must understand for myself, and the perspectives of others improves understanding.  


In this essay, I will posit my understanding of forgiveness based on the example of God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.  Upon this foundation, I will attempt to demonstrate how people can apply it in their own lives, no matter the circumstance or the actions and attitudes of others involved.  As you may imagine, this will be a more lengthy process than one blog entry, so I will publish it in parts.  After all, who wants to read a book on a blog post?

Reach AND Touch

In our taekwondo class on Thursday night, we practiced our board breaks.  I love board breaking!  I use a brown re-breakable board which is the equivalent to a wooden board 1.75 inches thick.  I just recently moved up to this board from a blue board (1.25 inches thick) because Jadyn had taken over my blue one!  I never had a problem with my brown board...until Thursday night.


First, we were practicing our palm heel strikes.  This was the strike I used the first time I ever broke my brown board and I did it with relative ease that time.  However, something happened to me Thursday night.  My instructor, Mr. Johnson, was holding the board.  I set in my front stance, lined up on target, chambered, struck, but the board didn't break.  Mr. Johnson said, "You pulled your punch.  Remember, follow all the way through the board."  I got set, chambered, struck through the board, and it broke.


Next was the hammer fist.  Again, this is a strike with which I have broken my brown board in the past.  However, again when I struck it didn't break.  Mr. Johnson said, "You're pulling your punches today.  You never do that.  What's up?"  I didn't know, but I set in my front stance, chambered, struck through the board, and it broke.


When I was driving home and even after I arrived home, I pondered Mr. Johnson's question.  Why was I pulling my punches?  I started cooking supper, thinking about the question, and when I took something out of the oven, my arm hurt and I knew the answer: I was pulling my punches because I have been having some tendinitis in my right elbow and I was afraid it was going to hurt.  In a sense, I was willing to reach out toward the board, but I was hesitant to touch it.


I realized that we Christians are like that to a great extent.  We hear people talking about reaching people, but do we hear people talk about actually touching them?  Not much.  I can think of a number of reasons why, some prudent, some just plain ol' chicken or judgmental.  


For me, Julie the Psychologist, the prudent reasons are rather easy to understand.  These reasons almost always involve personal boundaries.  I have to remain aware to not allow any codependent issues to cloud my judgment.  God has told us to be good stewards with what He has given us, including our selves, so there are times when we can get over-involved for selfish reasons, doing something for someone expecting to get something in return.  At those times, it would be prudent not to get involved, leaving that situation for someone who is better equipped to address it.  A good example is trying to be a therapist for a friend or family member.  NOT GOOD!  Sharing one another's burdens in an intimate friendship that is direct, open, honest and that has clear boundaries is a priceless gift.  Swooping in to rescue someone expecting them to rescue you in return is not intimacy; rather, it is games, indirect ways of getting your own needs met.  This is false intimacy because it is not direct, open, and honest.


What about the other "plain ol' chicken or judgmental" reasons for not touching someone?  Are they too sick?  Too different? Too odd?  Too bad?  Too rich?  Too poor?  Too...what?


"While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy.  When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged Him, 'Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.' Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man, 'I am willing," He said.  'Be clean!'  And immediately the leprosy left him" (Luke 5:12-13).  Leprosy is a highly contagious disease that leads to great physical and emotional suffering before it releases you by allowing you  to die.  Jesus not only reached out but was willing to touch the leprosy stricken man.  Yes, Jesus had the power to heal the man.  And, yes, God expects us to be good stewards with the health He has given us and not go around being stupid.  However, He does expect us to do what we can when we can.  In His parable of the good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), Jesus very poignantly told how the religious priest and scholar passed by the victim of a robbery as if he were not there.  They didn't even bother with the pretense of reaching, much less touching.  However, the Samaritan stopped, bandaged the man's wounds, placed him on his donkey, took him to an inn, and paid for his care.  He touched the man.  Jesus told them, "Go and do likewise" (Luke 10: 37).  Go and have mercy and exercise compassion on people, especially if they are different.


Not only do we need to touch others, reaching out to God but not touching Him, really allowing ourselves to feel His touch,  also causes us to miss out on so much.  We may reach toward God with religious traditions, but touching God is something else entirely.  Beginning in the Old Testament, God made it very clear that religion alone is worthless.  "I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies.  Even though you bring me burn offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them.  Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them.  Away with the noise of your songs!  I will not listen to the music of your harps.  But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!" (Amos 5: 21-24).  The Israelites had done what so many of us, myself included, often do.  We worship our own idols and go to church out of habit.  But it doesn't stop there!  At church, we go through the motions out of habit, out of tradition.


In both Matthew and Luke, Jesus tells the religious teachers a thing our two about their traditions, after the religious leaders judged the disciples for eating without washing their hands in the traditional, ceremonial way.  Jesus said to them, "Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: 'These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are from from Me.  They worship Me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men'" (Luke 7: 6-7; see also Matthew 15: 7-9).  So what does touching God mean?


Jesus was invited to dinner by one of the Pharisees.  "When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind Him at His feet, she began to wet His feet with her tears.  Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them, and poured perfume on them" (Luke 7:37-38).  She did not care that she was not welcome.  She did not care that she had not been invited.  Traditions be damned!  He focus was on one thing and one thing only: Touching Jesus, truly worshiping at His feet.  "Then Jesus said to her, 'Your sins are forgiven...Your faith has saved you; go in peace'" (Luke 7: 48, 50b).  The Pharisees who reached out to Jesus to invite Him to dinner had an ulterior motive--to judge Him.  The woman reached out and touched Jesus from a pure motive, to be as close to her Redeemer as she could possibly be.


"As Jesus was on His way (to heal the daughter of Jairus), the crowds almost crushed Him.  And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her.  She came up behind Him and touched the edge of His cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.  'Who touched Me?' Jesus asked.  When they all denied it, Peter said, 'Master, the people are crowding and pressing against You.' But Jesus said, "Someone touched Me; I know that power has gone out from Me.' Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at His feet.  In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched Him and how she had been instantly healed, Then He said to her, 'Daughter, your faith has healed you.  Go in peace'" (Luke 8: 42b-48).


This is another example of a woman who did not care about tradition, for religious rules had kept her from worshiping at the temple as long as she was bleeding.  She just wanted to get to Jesus, just to touch the hem of His robe.  But hers was no ordinary touch.  Hers was not the jostle and press of curiosity like the rest of the throng.  Hers was the touch of faith.  Her touch was different, and Jesus recognized it immediately.  


Oh how I long for my reaching and touching God to be real, genuine,authentic, and out of faith, and not just out of duty, habit, crisis, or curiosity!

If I could just touch Him

I know He'd make me whole.

If I could just touch Him

He could save my soul.

The hem of His garment is all I need.

If I could just touch Him

I'd be free indeed.

If I could just touch them

I know I'd make them whole.

If I could just touch them

I could save their souls

The blood from My cross is all they need.

If I could just touch them --

If they would just ask Me --

If I could just touch them

They'd be free indeed!

(jph)

Praying Ain't Enough

If I had a dime for every time I've heard, "I've turned it over to the Lord but..." I'd be retiring in luxury.  As you probably have predicted, I have a couple of things to say about that.


First, what does "turning it over" really mean?  I know how to turn over a rock, but I really don't know what people mean when they say they have "turned it over to the Lord."  People are not talking about salvation when they say they are going to "turn it over to the Lord."  Salvation completely is the work of Jesus on the cross and His resurrection.  Salvation is God's plan worked out God's way and completed by Him alone.  Nothing we can do ever will be deemed worthy of salvation.  That's why we need to be REdeemed.  So, just what do they mean?  Are they delegating?


Usually when people say they "have tried to turn it over to the Lord but...", the but is followed by "...I keep worrying about it."  This brings me to my second point.  Ready?  Sure?  Maybe YOU have to DO something!  Before you start saying, "Yeah, Julie, but God says we are to pray about everything," keep reading.


Consider the Old Couple
In Luke chapter 1, we meet a man named Zechariah and his wife, Elizabeth.  In verses 6 and 7, we read that "both of them were upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord's commandments and regulations blamelessly.  But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren; and they were both well along in years."  Here is a couple who had done everything right, prayed, and still did not have a child.  


Zechariah was a priest, and when his "division was on duty" (verse 8), Zechariah went into the temple to burn incense and met Gabriel.  The angel told him that his "prayer had been heard.  Your wife, Elizabeth, will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John."  After Zechariah basically said, "Are you sure?" to which Gabriel answered, "Yes, shut up!" Zechariah's service at the temple ended. "When his time of service was completed, he returned home.  After this his wife Elizabeth became pregnant" (verses 23-24a).  


So, just how did this happen?  Did he go home and pray?  I don't think so.  He went home and did something; well, he and Elizabeth did something.  He could have returned home and waited for Elizabeth to become pregnant.  After all, he had spoken with Gabriel!  Not just any angel but Gabriel, who told Zechariah that he "stands in the presence of God and I have been sent to tell you this good news."  If anyone had a direct message from God that something was going to happen, it was Zechariah.  If Zechariah just "turned it over to the Lord" and went home and waited, he would not have fathered John, the one who prepared the way for Jesus.  Zechariah knew the promise of God, but he knew that he was responsible for his part, and he went home and did something.  After all, the Immaculate Conception IS the Exception!


Consider the Shepherds
When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, an angel of the Lord appeared to the shepherds and proclaimed, "Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."  Did they look at each other and say, "Cool!" then sit back down to care for the sheep, believing that they "turned it over to the Lord" and God would make the Savior walk by?  No.  In verses 15-16 we are told, "...the shepherds said to one another, 'Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.' So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger."  They did something; they acted; and they saw the newborn Messiah.


Consider the Lame and Not So Lame Friends
I'm really liking Luke!  A few chapters later, in chapter 5 to be exact, Jesus is teaching and some men carried their paralytic friend to Jesus to be healed.  When they couldn't get to Jesus, did they sit down and say, "Well, we're just going to turn it over to the Lord" and wait for their friend to be healed?  No.  They "went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus" (verse 19).  They didn't take any chances!  At first, Jesus told the man that his sins were forgiven because of the faith he and his friends displayed.  However, the Pharisees couldn't believe it and thought Jesus was "speaking blasphemy" (verse 21).


Jesus knew what they were thinking.  He turned to them and said, "Which is easier: to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'?  But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...He said to the paralyzed man, 'I tell you, get up, take up your mat and go home" (verses 23-24).  Did the man say, "Nah, I'm good.  I'll just sit here and turn it over to you"?  No.  "Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God."  Jesus spoke but the man acted.  He did not sit and wait.  He did not ask Jesus for a hand.  He stood up (something he had never done, by the way), picked up his mat, and ran, jumped, skipped, home praising God.


So, what are you saying?
The verses people always quote when they say they try to "turn it over to the Lord" is Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Take that, Julie!  Well, not so fast.  The word "anxious" means "worry" or ruminating on and nurturing worries.  Yes, God tells us to pray about them, but He gives us the way to have His peace.  "Finally, brothers, whatever is true...noble...right...pure...lovely...admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."  In other words, change your stinkin' thinkin!  


You won't have the peace of God if you pray and continue in your old way of thinking!  You have to deliberately and willfully think about other things.  The hymn "Count Your Blessings" does not begin "When your life is awesome and all is great!" It starts, "When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed.  When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost.  Count your blessings."  No matter what the worries may be, God gives us the directions for achieving His peace.


And, by the way, just in case we didn't get it the first time, Paul writes in verse 9, "Whatever you have heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you." And Nike thought they were the first to say, "Just Do It!"

Was God a Bad Dad?

As I sit here less than 2 hours from the ringing in of the new year and wondering what 2011 will bring, I am reminded of another person who contemplated the beginning of time.  Before the beginning of everything (which is a very difficult concept for my rational mind to even write much less to comprehend) God knew that the humanity with whom He was wanting a relationship would not be able to relate to Him.  He had a plan, and this plan involved His Son, Jesus.  "For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight.  In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will" (Ephesians 1:4-5).


"In love..."    That's the part that so many, myself included at times, cannot understand.  I have heard people state as their reason for their disbelief that they cannot  believe that a loving God would knowingly send His Son to His torture and death.  Yet scripture is very clear, from Genesis to the Revelation, that this was God's plan, worked out from the beginning.  Redemption is brutal and bloody.  


I think that people with this view get hung up on two critical points, the word "sent" and the notion of the Trinity.  I am tackling the easier one first, the word "sent."  A quick search on www.dictionary.com indicates the the first part of the first definition of "send" is "to cause...to go."  With that definition in mind, it is easy to invision an almost mafia-type scenario, with God the Father forcing His Son to His death against His will, a cold-hearted Father making His Son take the punishment for what His enemies had done wrong.  It's even easier to maintain this cruel and abusive view of God when reading about the crucifixion, when His Own Son cried out in agony, "Father!  Why have You turned Your back on Me?  Why have You rejected Me?"  Yes, it is easy to see God as a mean, cruel, vengeful being and difficult to see that this was done in love.


However, the first definition of "send"  also is "to permit...to go."  To permit...that puts a whole new perspective on it for me.  Enter the difficult task of trying to comprehend the Trinity.  Given that I think in metaphor, the best way for me to attempt to comprehend the Trinity is through the concept of roles.  I am one person, but I have many roles.  I am daughter, wife, mom, friend, etc.  When I think metaphorically, it makes more sense how such a horrific thing could have been done in love.  


Keeping in mind the definition of "to permit" coupled with the metaphor of one person filling many roles, the following metaphor comes to mind.  I, in the daughter role, am talking to my dad.  Dad tells me that if I were to have my son, Jadyn would be born with a horrific condition that would impair all aspects of his life and end in a painful, prolonged, agonizing death.  However, this could all be avoided if I, in the mom role, would take Jadyn's place.  Would I, as Jadyn's mom, choose to take on all of his pain and eventual death in order to have a relationship with him?  A heartbeat would not pass before the answer would be a resounding, "Absolutely!"  My dad, on the other hand, would be wracked with grief, knowing what I was about to suffer.  He may try to convince me not to go because it would hurt him so much to see me suffer.  However, he would permit me to go because he loved me and he loved my son and the relationship he could have with him if this affliction were removed.


In love he would permit me, his daughter, to go and suffer for the sake of Jadyn.
In love I, the mom, would go willingly to take the place for Jadyn so he could have an abundant life and a relationship with my dad.
In love I would lay down my life in the assurance that Jadyn would be free.
In love my dad would have to look away because he could not bear to see me go through such agony and he could do nothing about it or the agreement would be nullified.


Oh, but it doesn't end there.  In love for my son, I suffered and fulfilled my obligation.  Jadyn is free from the affliction that tormented him.  Now, in love that is so amazing, my dad calls to me, "Arise, My Love.  Arise, My Love.  The grave no longer has a hold on you.  No more death sting. No more suffering.  Arise, Arise, My Love."


Was God a bad dad because He allowed Jesus to take my place?  Not at all.  He is the most loving being imaginable because in my metaphor, my dad would not have permitted me to go through all of this for someone who didn't love me at all; for someone who would spit on me, beat me until I was recognizable; for someone who whip me until my back was shredded; for someone who would nail me to a cross and gamble for  my clothes.  He would not have permitted me to go through all of this for someone who refused to acknowledge my sacrifice and even go so far as to say that it happened because I was a charismatic cult leader who bucked the system.  He would not permit me to go through this for someone who questioned whether or not I really existed.  And I'm not sure I would have wanted to go.


So, was God a bad dad?  Not at all.  "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).  For God so loved everyone in the world that He permitted His Son to take humanity's place, my place, simply because He  wants me to be in His Beloved family.  


Thank You, God, for loving me beyond comprehension.