Laura, this is for you...

My dear friend, Laura Robertson (whom I met after my son knocked out her son and gave him a concussion...long story) wrote a wonderful post in her blog about her testimony. (Her blog is linked to mine.  Just click "Written Not with Ink" and that's her.)  After I commented on what a SUPERB job she did, I get this friendly little thank you with a "Oh and this is your friendly encouragement - write a post dangit" note on my Facebook wall.  SO, Laura, this is for you.

I wish I could say my testimony was as vanilla as Laura's.  (Read hers first and you'll know what I mean.)  To carry on her analogy, Baskin Robbins ain't got enough flavors to cover mine!  No, I've never done illegal drugs or anything like that.  However, I've always said that Paul wrote he was the "chiefest of sinners" only because I hadn't been born yet.  It's not that my life has been "bad" or anything like that.  It's just that, unlike Laura, I have had lots of struggles with my faith, and still do.

When I was 6, Mom and I were on our way home from a revival meeting at church (Dad was working).  Baptists are like Resuscitator Annie, always needing to be revived.  We got revived at least once a year.  Mom and I had driven one block from the church, and I blurted out, "Take me back, Momma!  I'm going to hell!"  So, we went back to talk with our pastor, Bro. Sutton.  (Now, I had talked to Bro. Sutton about a year previously one night after a baptism, but that's just because I wanted to be baptised because it looked like swimming inside and I thought that would be really cool!)  I remember sitting in the secretary's office talking with Bro. Sutton.  Mom was with me.  I remember praying, and when I finished, the choir was rehearsing for the next evening's song.  They were singing, "The King is Coming" and I looked up and said, "And I'm ready."  

I've always thought too much.  As I got into Junior High, I really began wondering about God, Jesus, and all of what I was hearing.  I would go to church camp and see people get really excited, but it would only last a couple of weeks and they'd be like they were before they went.  I would watch people work and work in the church only to complain about who wasn't helping.  I wondered if this really weren't some way of controlling the masses, you know?  Spiritual crowd control.  Or some big recruiting thing, like "Be on our team and this is what you'll get."  Being someone who really doesn't like confrontation, I'd go along and usually be happy, but I'd always wonder.  The more I learned, the less I knew.  

But a curious thing always happened to me. It happened then and continues to happen to this day.  I believe it is God's unique way of reassuring me in the way I need that He is real.  It seems like every time I seen someone in need of comfort, HE is what comes to mind.  In 9th grade, we had "The Jupiter Effect," the day all the planets aligned.  Some people thought the gravitational pull would tear the planet apart.  Me?   I was just nervous about playing for the choirs at competition that day.  It was the last period when we arrived back at school, and I went to my last class.  I saw a friend of mine named April sitting on a table looking very worried. I asked her what was wrong and she talked about being afraid to die.  She asked me if I were.  I said, "Nope."  Just like that, it fell out of my mouth.  She asked why. I shared with her the love of Christ and she accepted Him as Savior right there in the junior high cafeteria.

That summer, a friend named Lisa went to Music Camp with me.  After our cabin devotional one night, I noticed Lisa went straight to the bathroom. I followed her.  We went to a nearby cabin that was empty.  I asked her what was bothering her.  Stupid me...I thought it was a guy or something!  She said, "I don't know what anyone is talking about when they say they are saved.  Saved from what?"  Again, I just told her of the love of Christ, and she accepted Him as Savior.

Fast forward to my last year in graduate school.  A friend of mine named Beth was driving us back from the prison where we worked.  It was a rainy Friday afternoon.  She recently had a death in her family and asked if I were scared to die. "Nope," again came right out of my mouth. She asked why, and I simply shared the love of Christ.  As soon as we were out of the construction zone, Beth pulled over to the shoulder of I-10 and, in the rain, accepted Christ as Savior.

Just a few months ago, I had two patients, one my last patient on Thursday and the other my first patient on Friday, ask me "Just who is Jesus."  I told them and they both accepted Him as Savior. One said, "I never knew that God's love was Jesus!"  

I don't recount these times because I'm some sort of uber soul winner "on fire for God."  No, I recount these for a very different reason.  You see, in each of these, and in countless others, when my faith was at its lowest, God affirmed to me who HE is by humbling me to share Him with others.  Their reactions are undeniable.  They weren't merely interested; they were CHANGED!  This is no coincidence.  This is God demonstrating His love toward us, toward me.

So, how am I sure God is real?  Every time someone who is confused, hurting, scared, doubting...in whatever state they were, they responded the same way when I told them that Jesus loved them enough to die for them.  When I doubt, God puts someone in my life toward whom I feel an overwhelming unction to share Christ, and their response is the same, and my faith is strengthened.

God affirms His presence when I humble myself, get out of the way, and let Him do the work because His work is far better than anything I could ever do.

So, Laura, if you're vanilla, think of me as the mint chocolate chip and gold medal ribbon with hot fudge, caramel, butterscotch toppings whipped cream, sprinkles, and a cherry to top it all off!